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Testimony of a Suicide Survivor
I am a suicide survivor. I am also a Christian. This article explains how anyone, but especially people of faith, can survive or help others to survive the tragedy of a suicidal death of a family member or close friend. My father committed suicide with an overdose of prescription medicine taken in conjunction with alcohol. Alcohol is a depressant that exacerbates suicidal tendencies in those who are prone to such self-destructive acts. I was 16 years old at the time. I was wrongly ashamed of my father’s suicide for most of my life. In fact, that feeling of shame is one of the great regrets of my life. With the combination of drugs and alcohol my dad might not have even intended to take his life. It could have been an accident. Their was no suicide note. He had no previous declaration of intent to commit suicide. The answer to that mystery we will never know. Still, officially his death certificate declared it a suicide. If someone asked how my father died, I would say that he died of a heart attack. That is the response my mother repeatedly instructed me to say. The manner in which my father died was not about him in her mind. Rather, it was about us. My mother was concerned about what others would think of us if they knew my dad had committed suicide. Perhaps, she thought, they would blame us. They might suggest that we drove him to it. They might suggest that we failed to appropriately respond to his suicidal tendencies. In short, my mother worried that they might blame us for my father’s suicide. Thoughts of if only we had done or said this or that constantly crept in to our minds. It was an emotionally destructive self-imposed guilt trip. Guilt can cripple. When guilt is unjustified it is especially damaging. The Christian approach to guilt, real and imagined, is in recognition and confession of sin, and faith in the love, goodness, and power of God — “casting one’s cares upon him,” not — in no way– upon the probability of one’s own, or the suicide’s, lack of, or diminished-under-the-circumstances (mental illness), guilt. To cope with suicide one must dump their guilt. It doesn’t belong in the grieving process. Grief is plenty enough to cope with without the burden of unnecessary and undeserved guilt. Even in cases where no guilt is present the conscience will find occasion for and evidence to accuse. It’s a struggle I call the blame game. The blame game is a method of coping by blaming someone else for the suicidal death that torments you. Sometimes you blame another relative. Sometimes you blame the person who committed the suicide. Often it’s a combination thereof. This venting of anger on someone else tends to provide some measure of relief in the short term. It doesn’t work in the long term. Blaming anyone for suicide is wrong most of the time. Where mental illness is the culprit, nobody and nothing except the mental illness itself is to blame. The sooner people come to terms with this truth the sooner they’ll be on the path to recovery. Most people are ignorant about suicide. That is why they often shy away from family members or friends who are struggling with suicide. It is wrong to be ashamed of or by the suicidal death of a family member or friend. It is cruel to desert those who are suffering. Feeling uncomfortable with suicide is never an excuse for rejecting those who struggle with this most tragic of deaths. Ask yourself, would you desert them if the person died of a heart attack or cancer? How can you desert them if their loved one died from suicidal mental illness? Mental illness can kill just like cancer and heart disease. In suicide, most often it is the mental illness that kills, not the person. A mentally stable person does not react to angry words or events by killing themselves. Only mentally and emotionally sick people do that. That is why their response to anger or any other stimuli is irrational and illogical. If they were healthy it is unlikely their response would be suicide. Depression affects your mental and emotional state of mind but it has a biological origin. Depression can be triggered by anger and resentment which have physiological effects. While the anger can elicit an emotional response, it is the biological mental illness (depression) that is the culprit. People get angry everyday but they don’t kill themselves because they are mentally healthy. Hence, you ought not blame or exculpate the person who committed suicide. This brings us to the mercy of God. He knows all, He is just and He is merciful. Take comfort in Gods mercy. Also take comfort in understanding that with few exceptions suicide is faultless and blameless. Some 20 years after my fathers death I had to cope with multiple suicide attempts by my brother. It was scary and emotionally draining. My brother is still living – thank God. However, he had a lot of close calls. More than once death was knocking at his door. The family was notified to get to the hospital quickly. Doctors doubted my brother would survive his latest suicide attempt. After every attempt he would be grateful for his life. He would also feel incredible guilt for the fear and heartache his suicide attempts brought on his family. Then he would get depressed and regress. Eventfully, like a vicious cycle, he’d attempt it again and again. My brother is a Viet Nam veteran. Like so many vets who endured that conflict, he suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). He is designated as a service connected 100% disabled veteran. Depression is a consequence of PTSD. Fortunately my brother came to terms with his mental illness and sought treatment. I have no doubt that treatment, medication, and prayer are what saved his life. It has allowed him to live a mostly productive lifeRead the Rest…
What Parents and Teachers should Know about Suicide in Adolescents and Young Adults
What Parents and Teachers should Know about Suicide in Adolescents and Young Adults By Dr. Shahul Ameen, M.D. INTRODUCTION Suicide is one of the commonest causes of death among young people. The latest mean worldwide annual rates of suicide per 100,000 are 0.5 for females and 0.9 for males among 5-14-year-olds, and 12.0 for females and 14.2 for males among 15-24-year-olds. Suicide is the sixth leading cause of death among children aged 5-14 years, and the third leading cause of death among all those 15-24 years old. In most countries, males outnumber females in youth suicide statistics. There are far more suicidal attempts and gestures than actual completed suicides. One epidemiological study estimated that there were 23 suicidal gestures and attempts for every completed suicide. Though female teens are much more likely to attempt suicide than males, male teens are more likely to actually kill themselves. The suicide rate among young teens and young adults has increased by more than 300% in the last three decades. RISK FACTORS FOR SUICIDE Contrary to popular belief, suicide is not an impulsive act but the result of a three-step process: a previous history of problems is compounded by problems associated with adolescence; finally, a precipitating event, often a death or the end of a meaningful relationship, triggers the suicide. The major, empirically proven risk actors for suicide among adolescents are detailed below. PERSONAL CHARACTERISTICS Psychopathology: More than 90% of youth suicides and around 60% of younger adolescent suicide victims have had at least one major psychiatric disorder. The most prevalent disorder in adolescent suicide victims is depressive disorders. Depression that seems to quickly disappear for no apparent reason is a cause for concern, and the early stages of recovery from depression can be a high risk period. Substance abuse, conduct disorder, posttraumatic stress disorder and panic attacks are the other disorders found to be common in this population. Previous suicide attempts: A history of prior suicide attempts is one of the strongest predictors of completed suicide, especially in boys. One quarter to one third of teen suicide victims have made a previous suicide attempt. Cognitive and personality factors: Hopelessness, poor interpersonal problem solving ability and aggressive impulsive behaviour have been linked with suicidality. Biological factors: Some teens are at greater risk for suicide because of their biochemical makeup. Abnormalities in the function of serotonin, a neurotransmitter, have been associated with suicidal behaviour. FAMILY CHARACTERISTICS Family history of suicidal behaviour: Teens who kill themselves have often had a close family member who attempted or committed suicide. Parental psychopathology: High rates of parental psychopathology, particularly depression and substance abuse, have been found to be associated with completed suicide and suicidal ideation and attempts in adolescents. Moreover, family cohesion has been reported to be a protective factor for suicidal behaviour among adolescents. ADVERSE LIFE CIRCUMSTANCES Stressful life events: Life stressors such as interpersonal losses and legal or disciplinary problems are associated with completed suicide and suicide attempts in adolescents. The anniversary of a loss can also evoke a powerful desire to commit suicide. Physical abuse: Childhood physical abuse has been found to be associated with increased risk of suicide attempts in late adolescence and early adulthood. SOCIOECONOMIC AND CONTEXTUAL FACTORS School and work problems: Difficulties in school, neither working nor being in school, dropping out of high school and not attending college pose significant risks for completed suicide. Contagion/Imitation: Teens are more likely to kill themselves if they have recently read, seen, or heard about other suicide attempts. Evidence continues to amass from studies of suicide clusters and the impact of the media, supporting the existence of suicide contagion. The impact of suicide stories on subsequent competed suicides appears to be greatest for teenagers. PREVENTION STRATEGIES Youth suicide prevention strategies have primarily been implemented within three domains – school, community, and health are systems. This article reviews the school-based programs. SCHOOL-BASED SUICIDE PREVENTION PROGRAMS School based suicide prevention programs include both curricula components to teach students about these warning signs and what to do, as well as non-curricula components such as peer groups, hot lines, intervention services and parent training. Prevention includes education efforts to alert students and the community to the problem of teen suicidal behavior. Intervention with a suicidal student is aimed at protecting and helping the student who is currently in distress. Postvention occurs after there has been a suicide in the school community. It attempts to help those affected by the recent suicide. In all cases it is a good idea to have a clear plan in place in advance. It should involve staff members and administration. There should be clear protocols and clear lines of communication. Careful planning can make interventions more organized, and effective. The goals of school based suicide prevention programs are to: * Increase awareness * Promote identification of students at high risk of suicide and suicide attempts * Provide knowledge about the behavioral characteristics (“warning signs”) of teens at risk for suicide. * Provide information to students, teachers and parents on the availability of mental health resources * Enhance the coping abilities of teenagers Education: Education may be done in a health class, by the school counselor or outside speakers. Education should address the factors that make individuals more vulnerable to suicidal thoughts. Education regarding the ill effects of drug and alcohol abuse would be useful. PTA meetings can be used to educate parents about depression and suicidal behavior. Parents should be educated about the risk of unsecured firearms in the home. Outside mental health professionals can discuss their programs so that students can see that these individuals are approachable. Education on the following topics will be useful: Warning signs of suicide: * Preoccupation with death and dying * Signs of depression * Taking excessive risks * Increased drug use * The verbalizing of suicide threats * The giving away of prized personal possessions * The collection and discussion of information on suicide methods * The expression of hopelessness, helplessness, and anger at oneself or the worldRead the Rest…
